...Friends and lovers feel that they were ‘made for one another’.... By having a great many friends I do not prove that I have a wide appreciation of human excellence. You might as well say I prove the width of my literary taste by being able to enjoy all the books in my own study. The answer is the same in both cases — ‘You chose those books. You chose those friends. Of course they suit you.’ The truly wide taste in reading is that which enables a man to find something for his needs on the sixpenny tray outside any secondhand bookshop. The truly wide taste in humanity will similarly find something to appreciate in the cross- section of humanity whom one has to meet every day.
In my experience it is Affection that creates this taste, teaching us first to notice, then to endure, then to smile at, then to enjoy, and finally to appreciate, the people who ‘happen to be there’. Made for us? Thank God, no. They are themselves, odder than you could have believed and worth far more than we guessed.
C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves (1960; HarperCollins: 2002) 45, 46.
In my experience it is Affection that creates this taste, teaching us first to notice, then to endure, then to smile at, then to enjoy, and finally to appreciate, the people who ‘happen to be there’. Made for us? Thank God, no. They are themselves, odder than you could have believed and worth far more than we guessed.
Do we pick our friends or do they pick us? Sometimes I am drawn to a person that I think; I could be friends with this guy or gal but for whatever reason I can pick up vibes that the feeling isn't mutual. It can also work the other way where someone wants to be my friend but for whatever reason I get a feeling that this friendship won't work. The funny thing is that I am not even willing to try and before you know it down the road that friendship blossoms.
ReplyDeleteI have two cats, when we brought the young kitten into the house the older cat would have nothing to do with it, they would hiss and growl and fight. Now a year later we come home and they are curled up on the bed sleeping beside each other, not to say as friends they don't have occasional differences but they are friends now for life. They take the good and the bad and meet in the middle somewhere. Gary